Harry Potter (i.e. Life!) seen thru GutterVision!goggles

Special Announcement:

2004-05-08T06:53:48Z

hey there! This is Mark, otherwise known as "You-Know-Who" or "that guy who gave Sade this LJ, hoping that she'll unleash her pervyness HERE, and not to us, her Real Life friends". ::lol: But that's too long, and since I'll be your best buddy after you hear the "exclusive" story that Sade would probably NOT tell you, I believe we should be in first name basis. ::wink::

Anyway, Friday night, our rowdy gang met up at this posh resto for the "wedding plans" of one of our friends. Sounds tame right? Well, not quite.

So Sade showed up wearing this little Gucci dress.

And then our group had dinner, talked about the wedding, had drinks, mingled: the usual. While we were mingling, this snooty gay guy who's wearing a shawl came up to our dear Sade. I told one of our other friends to mingle our way to where they were standing coz I'm sure it would be great laugh to tease her that she even managed to attract a gay guy.

Turns out, it's a bigger laugh than that. Apparently, he's an "agent", and was asking Sade if she wants to pose for "this magazine that I would not name". She laughed and declined, but he gave her his card.

Now, this is my plea to everyone who bothered to read this. Help us convince her to accept the offer. Just so we could tell all the pervs who buy that magazine ::wink:: "for the articles":

"Hey, that chick on page 45 who's a Harry Potter dork, I know her!". ::lol::

Or if not, just help her poor RL friends who has been driven crazy by her pervyness day in and day out have our comeuppance... let us all torment her, make her pull out her hair and drive her insane...

From now on, PLEASE call her "Bunny"!

Thank You.

I will be a good girl from now on

2003-12-09T22:58:28Z

Dear friends,

Hi, I am Sade, a recovering pervert. I would like to extend my apologies to everyone for inflicting you with my pervyness.

That is all, thank you.

::lol:: Just kidding this is YKW, her friend.

To read Prof. Sade's latest lecture on
'Subliminal Sexual References in the Harry Potter books: 101'
Sex Ed in the Harry Potter books <--- click this

You could just ignore this entry. I'm just having a bit of fun and teasing her ::lol:: I tweaked the color scheme a bit and I'm just testing if the color of the links are more visible now.

Sex Ed in the Harry Potter books

2003-12-05T21:35:32Z

ok, so a friend of mine, who has requested that I should not name her
*sneezes*a-aaa-Cheyenne*sneezes* oh, excuse me

anyway, she read my previous post and immediately called me
thus disturbing my afternoon nap and depriving me of my much needed sleep
*mutters*evil.wench*mutters*

Cheyenne: It is beyond me why you find anything remotely hinting at sex in the Harry Potter books!
ME: *yawn* Well, that's coz you haven't read them *yawn*
Cheyenne: Yes, but I have watched the movies. At least five times. EACH. Or do you not remember all those times you dragged me to the theaters kicking and screaming?
ME:
Cheyenne: Helllo?!!! *presses buttons* tuuuuuut
ME: Oh! Yeah, but you haven't read them!
Cheyenne: You already said that.
ME: *one last yawn* Ok, now, it IS a valid point seeing as you haven't read them, you just wouldn't understand. I mean, There ARE sexual references. You just have to know where to find them. You won't see it in the movie, coz well, it's a kid's flick.
Cheyenne: The books are listed under CHILDREN'S LITERATURE mind you.
ME: And that's the beauty of it. It's like kinky scavenger hunt! And besides weren't you snickering AND AGGREEING at all my ramblings about how perverted the brothers Grimm are?
Cheyenne: That's different.
ME: Ha! It's different coz you have read those! There is this thing called reading *nods* THEN you'll see the light soon enough.
Cheyenne: But they're so looooong
ME: patience is a virtue. And you will be greatly rewarded
Cheyenne: *sensing defeat* I'll ONLY read them if you can give me EVEN ONE BOOK QUOTE that deals with SEX ED. I mean, they're in a school, aren't they? *sounding smug* It must be by one of the professors... and none of those slashing thingie wordplay of yours, ok?
ME: Just one?! too easy!
Cheyenne: Hey, none of those eating things too! Must. Be. Of. Substance. And they must be DURING A LESSON!
ME: challenge accepted. Read my post later. And let me sleep for now! *hangs up*

Well, Cheyenne, dear, oddly, I think they have been given "The talk" IN CANON... Harry was just too naive to notice it:
hem hem...
*adopts "Prof. voice*

example 1: Prof. Sprout and her Mandrakes:

the Mandrakes were becoming moody and secretive, meaning that they were fast leaving childhood.

"The moment their acne clears up, they'll be ready for repotting again,"

in March several of the Mandrakes threw a loud and raucous party in greenhouse three. This made Professor Sprout very happy.

"The moment they start trying to move into each other's pots, we'll know they're fully mature,"

- Chamber of Secrets

*cough*puberty and the sex drive*cough*

example 2: Hagrid and the Skrewts:

"Eurgh!" said Lavender Brown again. "Eurgh, Hagrid, what's that pointy thing on it?"

"Ah, some of 'em have got stings," said Hagrid enthusiastically (Lavender quickly withdrew her hand from the box). "I reckon they're the males. . . . The females've got sorta sucker things on their bellies. . . . I think they might be ter suck blood."

- Goblet of Fire

*cough*sexual organs*cough

example 3: Prof. Trelawney and the unexpected "planet"

"It is Ur anus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney, peering down at the chart.

"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.

- Goblet of Fire

*cough*sexual organs AND puberty*cough*
throw in natural curiosity

And that's not counting the times they tackled sexual preferences
*cough*same sex*cough*
*cough*bestiality*cough*
coz I know you'd be squicked by that...

Those enough for you? And to think that those are just the ones at the top of my head...
I haven't even re-read the whole freakin series just to look for Sex Ed innuendos

---

And well actually in Book 1 Snape was insinuating that he'd be teaching them Sex Ed:

*hands you a GutterVision!goggle*
Think naughty naughty thoughts!!!

read:

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion*cough*love*cough*making," he began.

He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word
hmmm... sounds like he's trying to sound provocative, donchatink?

"As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic.
*snicker*
yeah, I bet he wasn't referring to this wand

But the other one that's always happy to see me... *cough* moving on...

I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses....

well, highdeeho me, if that doesn't scream *cough* uhmmmm... copulation to you, in big bold blood red letters, I don't know what will...

*imagines Alan Rickman's sexy voice*
*decides to cut the lesson short coz I need a cold shower. NOW!*

==========

just click on the darn link, ok?

And that concludes my lesson of
Subliminal Sexual References in the Harry Potter books: 101

I hope you all enjoyed your lesson for today and hopefully find a good use for it...

AND CHEYENNE, dear, please DO NOT call me right after you read this.
I'll bring the books when I meet you for dinner tonight. And the dinner's on YOU. That's what you get for doubting me!
muwahahahahahaha

~ Prof Sadé
Doctor of Innuendos
Professor of 'Subliminal Sexual References in the Harry Potter books: 101'
Perverse City Institute for the Advanced Analysis of Children's Literature

I just thought the WARNING was not enough...

2003-12-05T20:08:53Z

well well well... my very first entry... now, what to say?!
*ponders*

uhhhmmm... for starters, I'm such a nice girl. Ever so polite, and oh so innocent
- it hurts my eyes just seeing two people holding hands!

*dodges lightning bolts*

ok, really now...

well, first of all, a friend of mine gave me this LJ complete with the name, icon, style, the whole shebang! *grins* you know me too well! *cackles* I guess you DO listen to my mad ramblings!
I LOVE everything! specially the "excited mood icon"
Dude, my mind went straight into the gutter when I saw her... what the hell is she doing anyway? That is just SO wrong in so many levels! *lol*
anywayz
*hugs 'You-Know-Who'*
let it not be said that I don't appreciate you! *lol*
my only qualm was that I was only informed about this today better late than never?
Yeah, I guess

now that THAT is over and done with...
*covers YKW's ears*

I'd like to tell anyone who'd listen that I personally think that YKW gave me this coz he's too tired of hearing me talk about all those sexual references on the Harry Potter books, making kinky interpretations, and making him read my own unedited version! with all the deleted sex scenes.
*breathe* But accepted that I probably won't stop. EVER!
So he decided that it's only fair that other people be subjected to the torture as well! *cackles* <

about me:
Well, I'm an insomiac
who just got out of jail.
for stabbing.
with a spork.
I guess it's a crime to use those now
Coz it's plastic
it's not eco-friendly after all
*shrugs*

I have a Doctorate in Innuendos and I am putting it to good use *beams*
I'm the author of 2 books:
1) "Sexual References in Children's Literature":
why those pervy writers want to get them while they're young
and
2) The Harry Potter Books:
THE Book to shove to your children so you wouldn't have to give them "The Talk" about the Birds and the Bees

that is not counting my contributions to the
Harry Potter "unedited version":
now with 2,547 deleted sex scenes!
which I did for charity< out of the kindness of my heart

*looks around*
*notices that she managed to scare the few people who actually read this*

I guess I should shut up now...

*leaves quietly*

Hey Sade! it's you birthday!!!

2003-12-03T01:18:40Z

Happy Birthday, girl!

Luv yah! :D

- 'You-Know-Who' ::snickers::